So morals and ethics are out the window, right? Only if you are a Republican.

Let’s take a moment for story time. These stories boys and girls are about hypocrites. Not to define an entire political party by their members or anything but the Republi-bagger (or HypoBagger?) is the worst of the lot.

First up: We know Louisiana is not what most would use as a moral compass. My family hails from there so I feel like I have some right to speak of it. I not so jokingly refer to the middle part of America as the “Fly over Zone”. As my dad says “There are no fender benders in Louisiana. Everyone drives 60 mph and when they have accidents, they tend to be fatal due to the tree that got in the way.” Doesn’t say much for the genetics of the survivors but maybe Darwin Rules really apply here.  All of the places I have been in my life have shown me how backward most of the US really is and yet the deep south is special.  Historically LA had a governor who kept a prostitute. And no one was bothered. And then there is the Spears “clan”. I won’t waste space but you can imagine.

And of course, there is Sen. David Vitter. The kind and ignorant folk of LA will never remove him from office even though he is (one of the most) vile and hypocritical politicos out there. They will never remove him because they share his values. Really? Like his dalliance with a hooker? The hatred for Obama is visceral for these Southern folk. Remember he is black after all.

Next Hypocrite:

My favorite gal from a neighboring state. Sharon “I’m Asian” Angle.  She’s living in her fantasy world of friendly “media” and has now stated that she will only speak to the “other press” once she is elected. And even Fox won’t touch her because she is insane.  For real?  She afraid they are going to “getcha” (a Palin-nome referring to the moment people identify just how low your IQ actually is).  The BEST news is that when she ISN’T elected because she’s a freaking nutjob, she will stop talking. I wish Meg Whitman would promise the same thing.

Speaking of the whore…I mean candidate for Governor. You want to see hypocrisy? Just pop on over to California. First there is Meggie. Her insistence to continue attack ads about Jerry Brown stealing coupled with her anger that someone third-hand overheard the word “whore” in her general direction is mind boggling. She has NO IDEA how to run a government or be a politician. She has been accused of not being honest herself and yet the jabs keep on rolling in about Brown being a puppet and a thief.   Here’s a little note Meg – politics is a messy sport and if you can’t take the hits, don’t keep launching your own assaults. 

And to close this first chapter of “A Tale of Two Republi-baggers”, we turn to Carly “Look at Me! I’m richer than you!” Fiorina.  She’s a Texan. Not sure most people know that but she is. That must be where she formed her opinions and knowledge of the world. Something about the Texas Board of Edumecation. She isn’t a believer in education and yet has stood high on her own mountain top and proclaimed that it is our own damn fault for not being able to compete in the global economy. Really Carly? Have you thought about how we rank in basic education around the world? And you blame us?

And she is against gays. Yet she had the audacity to steal the font that Ellen deGeneres uses for her show. And Macys too. Hmmm. Red herring? I think not.

And finally, most actual Republicans hate her. She collapsed their friend’s multi-billion dollar business. She really has no points of view other than being “anti-Boxer”.  I have a cousin like this who once attacked me for being cynical. At the time I thought that was the worst possible thing. Until two days later when I realized he was pissed because I was smart enough to discern what I belived for myself and that he didn’t have a view of his own.

THAT is the best part about not being a Hypo-Bagger. I know what I believe without someone else telling me what to say. I have read and understood the Constitution and its various Amendments. I have read many of the Federalist Papers (no Sarah and Christine, they aren’t newspapers printed by the Federal Government on a weekly basis).  I am not a witch. I am also not you. Thank the FSM!

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