Been a while and yet…

So I’ve been deeply mired in event planning for my job – that wonderful thing that makes me lucky in this day and age. No time or energy to write. Of course my brain has not turned off so I have so many things to share. Where to restart?

The Era of Men is gone. Really? Or are they using their penises to get it back again? I hate watching the news anymore. Pretty much every report includes one of these phrases “GOP”, “Democrats, or “sexually assaulted”. Firstly, why is the media so afraid to use the word “rape”? Are they afraid that it might bias folks? Or it is simply that most people do not take rape seriously?

When 1 in 4 women will be raped in their lifetime, perhaps ALL people need to demand justice for the atrocity that is rape. I remember in college, a young man said to me, “It isn’t fair that women can have abortions without speaking to the guy first. Don’t I have a say?”And my response is the same as it ever was “No, you do not have a say until you, as a male, stop rapists amongst your species.” He retorted that attacks weren’t his fault. I agreed that while that part was true, he still had more power as a man to STOP rapes.

By not degrading women or disrespecting them.

By not convincing young women that their only value is in the way they are perceived sexually and convincing young men that taking is NOT the same as asking.

By making sure all adults understand the word “consent” and that having sex with woman under the influence of anything means she is less capable of consent.

By helping women raised in a culture that removes their power find their own voices, strength and self-esteem to fight back – verbally and physically if necessary.

By undoing the machismo they are surrounded by and correcting the aggression of their own kind.

In a story so angering I could actually punch most men in their family jewels, a high rise apartment building in Walnut Creek has suffered 5 rapes in a matter of weeks.  And no one made moves to stop it after the first two. They have added security guards but the residents feel so unsafe that no additional bodies are going to help. The fact that one rapist – whose DNA they found on the victims – was in jail for three rapes when the fourth and fifth attacks occurred truly highlights how pervasive rape is. How is it possible that one location could be so full of evil men? Or is it as simple as men feeling that they can take anything they want and treat women as objects to defile and degrade. How pathetic are these men? How impotent? How lacking and limp?

The worst part of this story is that the apartment owners are forcing people to hold their leases or pay thousands in penalties. How is that not an affront to every woman who lives there? Clearly the company does not value their lives or their vaginas enough to allow them to leave without penalty. Like an abusive man forcing them to stay where they are with no way out. Sick fucks.

And onto Rhianna and Eminem’s homage to domestic abuse. WTF? I love some of Rhianna’s music and was very sad to see her injuries broadcast after her boyfriend, Chris Brown, beat the crap out of her before an award show (nothing like a jealous guy).  That said, how on earth could she possibly be part of an anthem romanticizing violent attacks? And one that has been called a “monster hit”. Who is buying the messages?

And co-written by Mr. Abusive himself, Marshall Mathers aka Eminem. I don’t want to slam him based on his past but it is hard not to as he continues to write songs that happily include women asking to be beaten and killed. His constant glorification of abusive relationships leads me to believe any woman (not a girl) in her right mind wouldn’t come within 10 feet of his fists. And the simple fact that he felt Rhianna was the right choice to bring the message is astounding and naive.

The media MUST stop portraying passion as violence. If someone cannot separate their own passion from violent urges, they need therapy – not a recording contract or millions of adoring fans.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.